Such a sha💩me

I was once a good servant of the corporate world where everything should be scheduled, in order, and placed accordingly. Now, just an insect going around with a hundred per day salary from a candy kiosk owned by my sister.

Almost seven years of working as a Software Quality Tester in the field of Information Technology but now a good-for-nothing unemployed daughter of my mother living in a not-so-small town of Dasmariñas in Cavite. Yep, that's me. 

I'm Casey but you can call me whatever you want. We would not see each other anyway for X and Y is difficult to find each other in the big world we're in. 

I would not have regretted a bit of it, but I wish I had seen the consequences of entering a company that would significantly impact my life. Anyway, I love the seven years of working. Get to meet people, and engage in activities, projects, events, and commitments I had longed to have after schooling. 

Subjectively speaking, I have lived uncommonly. I came from a business-oriented family and I knew hard-earned money than what most people think it was. Establishing a business reputation is not that easy and it requires a lot of determination, perseverance, and labor! Even before I heard about Geometry and Accounting, earning money as the end retailer of a product was practically the beginning of how I acquired the consciousness we need in life. My parents grew up in Manila and served my Chinese grandfather until they got married and decided to buy a portion of land in the province of Cavite where they resided from then on. They started a banana-cue and rice-milled business while taking care of their children. A while after, a banana cue stand and rice milled turned into a small retail store which is then upgraded to grocery. That's when I started to help in the family business. It started as a curiosity as to how things should be done -like sealing a sugar pack manually to delivering soft drinks (I often tag along with our drivers) and then to being a cashier where patience for different kinds of people should have to stay focus in giving them they're change up to the smallest cent. To cut the story short, when I entered college, that's when sh!t really happen. For the first time in my life, I felt that studying should really be taken seriously because if not, you'll fail, and failing means repeating the subject which means another roll of money to put out. Ugh, you cannot imagine how dumb I felt back then. Anyway, that's all in the past.

Boulder at Perlas ng Silangan in Cavite, Philippines taken in December 2023

Currently, my mantra is 'ora et la bora' -which means to pray and work. I understood a lot of concepts about life during my 20s and early 30s but in my situation where I could not have enough money to pay my debts and insurance, seemingly these understanding could not help me practically. On that matter where if you cannot change the situation (even if I badly wanted to), change how the way you would react to it.. so with the help of Fr. Dave Concepcion and Brother Bo Sanchez, I am guided by the mentality that everything will work out accordingly to His plans. I know I'm a good person and although I sometimes fail to showcase how am I as a daughter of His, I am embedded with the thought that what I'm facing right now is a tough door to go through and a mere struggle I have to overcome. It's not that I am irresponsible in my decisions, or I recklessly jump into situations, it's just that, all of the experiences I had is just a preparation for what is yet to come and I love that. The idea of irregularity in different concepts you can name is beautiful and even if I get to have another chance, I will take the same ones I chose beforehand. Why? I don't know. Maybe it's because of the fact that I am thrilled. All those emotions I prayed to God that I wanted to feel happened to me and still happening. The dismay, the happiness of getting one dream after another, the shock of what other people made me feel, the embarrassment of feeling dumb in the position in a company where I thought I could not get into all were there. I got them and I am very much grateful that God allowed me to experience these turmoil of events that made me feel human. 

Many wrongs have been done, many people have been hurt, and many lessons have been learned but one thing is certain... that a simple person like me is loved by God. 💕